Hope for some seems constant and steady but for others it appears to ebb and flow. Sometimes the ebbs and flows reach tsunami levels. Sometimes there is barely a noticeable ripple in the soul as life just kind of moves along. But thankfully (and there is someone to thank), most of us never lose hope, not all of it anyway. But then there are those who do lose hope – all of it.  A soul that has lost all hope is like a dead man walking and, unless someone intervenes, a dead man walking will, in time, seek and find a way to stop walking.  You see, hope does ebb and flow but the journey from complete hopelessness to death is usually not a long one. It wasn’t for me.
I arrived at complete hopelessness at the age of 25 in the Spring of 1988 while a college student at the University of Alabama (Roll Tide!).  What I considered to be justifiable self-hatred was so intense that it had decayed my soul and methodically drained all hope from my life. As this blog moves forward (if this blog moves forward), I am hopeful that you and I will share our stories and the reasons for my self-hatred will find a natural way to reveal themselves to the extent they will be relevant. But for now here I sit so full of hope that it is sometimes difficult to catch my breath. How did that happen?
Brace yourself if you don’t believe in God or if someone has presented a distorted and inaccurate portrait of Jesus to you. I am a follower of Christ. Long story but I sat in my wheelchair in my dorm room in Tutwiler Hall on the campus of the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa in late March, 1988 and sincerely asked Jesus (if He was real) to forgive me and help me because I was a dead man walking (rolling in my case) who was about to find a way to stop walking (rolling).  I said my prayer, transferred out of my wheelchair into my bed and went to sleep.
But then the next morning came. I still can’t fully explain what took place in my soul but I have never had another suicidal thought. From that morning until this one I can honestly say my only goals have been to understand who Jesus Christ really is, to live the way He would have me to, and to be faithful and diligent about sharing the inexhaustible hope I have found.
It is genuinely my hope that whoever reads these words will be encouraged. Though I am a follower of Christ, this is not a “religious” blog. All I want is to speak and to listen, to have a real dialog with real people who may be experiencing a tidal wave of hope in their life or may be near complete hopelessness or somewhere in between. I will endeavor to speak the truth with love and respect each person. I want to learn and to teach.  Please comment or contact me if I can help you in any way.